Day 2 of the Dukan Attack Phase

Weight: 169  (no loss)

Energy & Mood:  Anxious, unfocused, somewhat energetic

Exercise:

45 minutes of gardening, including moving heavy stones
1 hour of shopping
20 minute walk

Food:

Breakfast: 2 eggs
Lunch:  Tuna Fritters made with oat bran
Snack:  Nonfat Greek Yogurt w/squeeze of lemon juice, low fat deli turkey w/ 4 pickle slices
Supper:  Chicken breast

***

I've been thinking about the fact that not only did I lose about 40 pounds at one point in my life, I've generally been able to keep it off for almost seven years.  I lost the weight with a variety of methods.  The first ten pounds came from walking and giving up sugar, and the rest came off with a mix of very healthy eating (sometimes macrobiotic) and lots of exercise -- often two hours a day.  It all came off very slowly over many months, and I was motivated by a diagnosis of high blood pressure. At some point, though, so pleased by my progress, I just gave up the hard work of losing weight.

I've maintained the weight loss for so long it feels like my "natural" weight is around what it is now -- usually 165-170.  At one point four years ago I climbed back to 180, so once again I stopped eating sugar and began to exercise, and within a few months I got the weight back down to my comfort zone, even below it to around 162.  I also think that dealing with stress helped me lose the weight, as well.

What I would like to do on this diet is finally get my comfort zone down to about 140-145.  I suspect once it is there, the same mechanisms that have helped me maintain the first big weight loss will come into effect.  First, there will be a particular number on the scale  which will signal that I need to restrict my eating somewhat.  Right now this number is 170, but I hope in the future that it will be 150, or even lower.  The second mechanism is the fit of my clothes.  I dream of being a solid 8-10 Medium, and that would mean an entire new wardrobe (because I am a L-XL, 12-14 right now).  As soon as the clothes began to fit too tightly, I would know, as I do now, that I must watch what I eat.One thing I have to watch out for even now is letting myself wear clothes that are loose or too big.  I inevitably begin to gain weight when there is room in my clothes to fill!

I really think it is wise that the Dukan diet has an extended period of maintenance built into it.  It helps reset the body at a new natural weight, just like I did with the first big loss. There is also a period of adjustment during which one must come to understand they are at a new weight and that this is their new body.  It took me several years to begin to understand myself as a person who was 165ish, not 200ish, and I suspect that if I get down to 140ish, I will still see myself as a bigger person.  It will be a while before the new face becomes the face I expect to see.

One thing I know for certain is that I can feel the effects of dieting on both my emotions (more anxiety) and my intellectual performance (difficulty focusing).  I think this is inevitable during any period of weight loss: the body doesn't like to let go of itself!  I am making the best of it and focusing on tasks that don't require a lot of thinking, like decluttering  the house and working in the yard. This drop in performance, however, all the more motivation to stick with the plan until I reach my goal.  I don't want to have to do this twice, and I certainly don't want to have to do it when I am older and it is even more difficult.  These next couple of months are the perfect time in my life to focus on this project:  less work, no big events, no social pressure or need to be particularly brilliant.   So far, it's going okay, and the idea that I get to eat vegetables again in a few days is real motivation for me.